Two Lucky

The first snow fell last night in New York. Fall is coming to an close. So begins a new season in this city.

I, too, am starting a new chapter. Since Friday, I’ve moved out of my apartment on East 11th Street to shack up with my brother Zack on East 4th Street. I’m here for two weeks. I’ll spend next weekend with Rusty’s mom in Virginia; the weekend after that, I’ll be at Newark International Airport on a flight back to Singapore.

As I move out of this life, and into the next, I imagined myself feeling lost and depressed; but I feel neither. I am not nostalgic, I am not disappointed. I am not even sad. Right now, right this moment, all I feel is a sense of anticipation.

This surprised me. Before yesterday, even though I felt I was ready to leave New York, I wasn’t completely sure I would be all right. The first step was leaving the apartment. I predicted a teary good bye. But it was as normal a day could be. I waited in the morning for the movers. I loaded my boxes onto the truck. I lugged my suitcase to the door. There, I said “thank you,” and “good bye,” kissed the red walls, and let the door close behind me.

In the afternoon, I took a nap at Zack’s apartment. I missed it, but it was no longer the same home Rusty and I built together. I had no desire to return to it.

When I saw the snow fell last night, I felt a question had been answered. It was a mark of time; it seemed to me the earth had been waiting for that first snow-flake. I realized I had been waiting, too. I understood the necessity of snow. Unwelcome though winter may be, it has its place in life’s measure. There is some comfort in the steady, knowing cycle of time.

So it is with my imminent departure from New York. The day is around the corner. I no longer feel conflicted about leaving. In fact, I find myself looking forward to it. I have everything I need with me. I’ll be okay.

So, let it snow, let it snow. Let it snow.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 3rd, 2007 at 1:43 am and is filed under New York. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.