Again, at the airport
I ran into Rusty again last night. I was at an airport, waiting to board a flight (Where was I going?). I was still on the phone when I saw him. He sat about 10ft from me, flanked by three friends. Monte, whom I’ve met, and two Korean businessmen. They were all in suits. They were all smiling, but Rusty seemed to be the most animated. He was laughing. It was this laughing face I saw, except it was not exactly the face I knew. It took me only a moment to realise this was Rusty when he was younger. His face was fuller, brighter. He had an easy slouch untouched by the weight of sickness. He was in his mid-20s.
On the phone, I told my friend of my amazing discovery. I stood up and walked over. As I approached, our eyes met, though his registered no recognition. He hasn’t met me yet, I thought, bewildered. I watched him track my movement toward the group. He was expectant, with a slight twinkling in his eyes, and a little embarrassment; it was a look I knew from our first date.
It was then, right before we put out our hands to say hello, when I found myself in my seat again 10ft away from my young lover. I looked across, and there was Monte and the two Korean businessmen, but next to them was a man I had never in my life seen before.
June 2nd, 2007 at 9:59 pm
I’m here for you in any way I can be.
Laurie
June 3rd, 2007 at 8:55 am
Hello Yen,
I discovered your website this afternoon, Sunday. My partner and best friend, Jon, passed on some years ago after two years of living with cancer. As I read some of your archives it brought a lot of memories back and I could feel your sense of loss. You are obviously a very special person. Your love for Jesse just shines, and his for you. Years later I still see Jon in the back of someone’s head, or a half profile. Now it’s very encouraging.
I can only thank you for sharing your experience with us. It’s quite amazing, really, to someone of my generation. I wish I could say something to help you through your grief. Things will get better. The parting will become less painful. The memories will comfort and strengthen you. There will be times when friends are being silly and arguing and you will want to slap them and say “Love each other, you don’t know when you won’t be able to”. You will become a very strong and even more wise person because of your life with Jesse, of that I can be pretty sure.
Someone in another comment said “Please don’t leave us”. I’ve only just “met” you but I would say the same thing.
Take care, and lots of love from London, Mike.