Lesson in loving
After more than a week of rest at home, Rusty has recovered almost completely from the IL-2 therapy.
He is his usual self, loving and already focused on getting stronger for the next round. Most of his activities are limited to a few minutes of walking outside every day. For the most part, we spend our hours taking naps, reading, and watching TV on the couch.
I’ve hesitated to write because there is really not much to tell. Every day is an exercise in patient living. I attend to his needs: blanket, pillow, water, a peck on the cheek, a hug.
Despite our best efforts, he’s still losing too much weight, hovering at a slender 140lbs for his 6′1in-tall frame. Our diet has whittled down to occasional meals, shared Chinese take-out, ramen, sushi sometimes. He has developed a liking for fresh watermelon, which I try to procure diligently.
I miss the days of our courtship, when we walked without consequence, without time. Even in the early months of Rusty’s diagnosis, our hope was still athletic, vigorous. Times are different now.
When hope to rekindle memories starts to wane, when your lover is changing, deteriorating, it becomes a challenge to keep loving. Every day is a lesson in patient loving. Every day you relearn how to love again.
February 22nd, 2007 at 7:13 pm
“When hope to rekindle memories starts to wane, when your lover is changing, deteriorating, it becomes a challenge to keep loving. Every day is a lesson in patient loving. Every day you relearn how to love again.”
It’s at that time love becomes truly a conscious choice — one you have made and that makes the love all the more golden!! I’m thankful that he’s home - and ALL my thoughts and prayers are with the two of you.
Maybe, one night - when the two of you are lying there - you can take a walk again - verbally and mentally. It worked when my Dad couldn’t get out of bed (however -his was fishing) …
Yen - you are such an inspiration to me - and I KNOW you are to Jesse …
(HUGE HUGE bear hug) … b
February 22nd, 2007 at 8:30 pm
The bright future is not far, just keep walking and you’ll reach.
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:15 pm
I believe that Jesse will get well. I believe that with every fiber of my being. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Yen. Stay strong, you are loved.
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:58 pm
Love is a powerful force and is the one glue that makes everything almost bearable. Jesse is truly lucky to have you there by his side every step of the way. Hugs.
February 23rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Wonderful news, my beautiful friends … enjoy every minute of this Life lived with Love ….I join you in that …
February 25th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
My sincere prayers to Jesse and you. I do hope things will get better and the two of you happy again. Keep on fighting, keep on going.
February 26th, 2007 at 12:47 am
Love is now. Memory is always for tomorrow.
Jesse is strong, strong enough to love, and the two of you are strong enough to fight side by side.