Why I heart NY
A comment Mark left on Patrick’s blog led me to consider my own relationship with New York. He said: “It’s like every gay boy dreams to move away from home and make it in the Big City. No, scratch that. It’s not just gay boys - it spans all people, I think, to some extent.
“But sometimes it just doesn’t end up fitting, for whatever reason.”
That was how it was for me. When I boarded my flight to New York, I had just turned 21. I was still in the closet. This new life in the city was my ticket out. But it was a little more difficult, more complicated than I expected. In my first year, I found myself having to grapple with other, new issues.
I had not traveled in the US before. Americanisms, pop culture references were lost on me. For the first time in my life, I was among the visible minority - I was not white. Coming out in the city: In chatrooms, I struggled for a sexy label to fit into. Jock? Noo… Twink? Not white enough… Dad? Bear? Not yet, anyway.. Asian? Was that it? That’s it??
Living in New York, as Mark said, is a daunting exercise. It’s as if every day you have to live up to the hype, the expectations of a wealthier, cuter, more glamorous boyfriend. But live there a little longer, and you realise one of the city’s bedrock philosophies: It. doesn’t. fucking. care.
And this is why I heart NY: It’s a city that is truly diverse because of its people. Anyone can find a space to call their own. And ever so often, these accidental worlds collide, and you discover yourself a better person because of it.