What is the open relationship?
Conventional wisdom teaches us that human beings, in general, do not fare too well in unfaithful relationships. Faith, trust - these are important qualities that build a successful relationship. But between two people, it is not just about faith. We are also inherently selfish. We do not like to share. That is why, even without anti-polygamy laws, few relationships exist outside the “couple” model in our society today.
But there is a derivative that sits well between the abovementioned two, where couples remain faithful to each other, even while being sexually involved with another, or multiple, partners. An oxymoron? We call this the open relationship.
Does it work? An easy assumption is that these couples do not truly love each other, and the relationship is a convenient arrangement. It’s a passing phase. When they become serious about each other, they will stop fucking around.
This is a simple and arrogant assumption. Is monogamy a good test of love? It can be, but is it always? No. Gays and straights have it very differently. Anecdotal evidence from some surveys find that gay people with open relationships last longer than relationships that follow conventional monogamist wisdom.
It is a very male phenomenon. We have to sow our seeds. What separates those who are serious, and those who are not - is the set of circumstances agreed clearly upon by the two individuals about the mechanics of the relationship.
Just because it is open, does not mean it is free-flow.
Some couples agree to only mess around when the other is not in town. Others only play tricks when both are involved - meaning in threesomes or more. There are some who want to know everything about the fling; others who want to know nothing. It succeeds because the two partners fully trust each other. In place is a promise to live out their lives together, no matter what.
“No matter what” is a big promise. But it is there. Fucking a stranger you met at a club does not change that. Love, surely, is sturdier than that.