I know I have to be strong
Dear Rusty, I know where you are. You are in that bed I slept in. Tomorrow, when you wake, you will look out that window, face that mirror, walk out that door. Where you are now in Seoul, I have been. I have seen what you see, I have walked where you walk. I know your route to the office. I know the brand of bottled water you drink. Coffee with milk, no sugar. You only like the plain-glazed doughnuts. Your eyes, your smile, that funny sound you make when you tease, the one that I have adopted, too. Your big feet. Your scars.
If you die, where will you be, then? I will no longer see what you see, know what you are doing. Will you be able to see me from where you are? Who will bring you the water you need by your bed? It has been a while since I have felt this dejected. I know that all is not lost. I know that I have to be strong.