How much heart can you hold?
I am flying off to Paris tonight. This will be the fifth time I’m going over to see Jesse. This morning he is on a flight back to Paris from a business meeting in Thailand.
All this flying around!
I wonder what it would feel like for us finally to have a place of our own, and to settle down in one city. We would get up in the morning, have breakfast, read the papers, go to work, and finally, at the end of the day, come home to each other. How peaceful would that be!
I wrote sometime ago that the human heart can only hold so much drama. There comes a point when you’re just too tired, your heart stretched too far to carry all that you feel. It’s a point that you leave, and come back to, back and forth, every once in a while. That is how it has been with this disease. You oscillate between moments of intense depression and quiet hope. You hold on to whatever you have. You ask for a bone.